Cruel Summer

On Sunday night I went to see Bananarama at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney. You are never too old to bop along to girl bands as far as I'm concerned. Certainly not on an adult gap year. My niece Helen came along with me and despite our difference in age and growing up on different continents our shared love of the group bridged those differences.

I had one caveat with my niece during the concert- if we both felt like getting up and dancing we would. No judgement, no fear of feeling silly. And we both did - dancing with abandon and joy. The entire audience danced, all caught up in the moment of remembering our teenage years (well teenage for me anyway). The heat and sweat mingling with our voices as we sang along with the group hoping perhaps to be chosen as a replacement for Siobhan Fahey (Bananarama is now a duo).

The opening beats of Cruel Summer was my cue to jump to my feet unleashing my inner teenager.
I was immediately transported back to my student nurse days in Dublin in the Summer of 1983 when the song was released. As an 18 year old the world was my oyster. I had just finished my first six months of PTS (preliminary training student) and only if you made the grade were you allowed continue nursing.

The Summer of 83 was quite warm by Irish standards and an image popped into my mind of a lovely outfit I had bought. White T shirt, sky blue pants and matching waist coat with a straw hat. I was quite the bees knees. That outfit on my size eight body drew quite a few wolf whistles walking past building sites on O'Connell Street (back then it was taken as a compliment).

Fast forward thirty six years to the Enmore Theatre and I have come full circle from those student nurse days. My career spent nursing is on hold at the opposite side of the world to where it started.
I have worked in Dublin, London, Belfast, Baghdad, Saudi Arabia before settling in Sydney in 1994.

I have been a bedside nurse, Clinical Nurse Specialist, Clinical Nurse Consultant, Nursing Unit Manager, Nurse Manager, Project Manager and more recently a Director of Nursing and Midwifery. A career spanning thirty six years that my 18 year old self could never have imagined in her wildest dreams. And I have chosen to hit the pause button on that career. Courageous or crazy? Who knows.
I'm still a nurse at my core with a writer hoping to emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis.

A friend asked me how it felt waking up the first Monday after finishing work.

Panic at first at the thought of being late for work then a slow realisation that work was in the past.

Exhaustion as the act of leaving a job can be as stressful as starting a new one.

Excitement at the thoughts of having a break and not knowing where this gap year might take me.

Finally, a feeling of joy when our little dog Bonnie jumped up on my lap to lick me and be cuddled. Every other morning she had watched me rushing out the door with that sad dog face that little white fluffy dogs have perfected and scratch on your heart every time you leave without them.

As Cruel Summer gave way to Robert De Niro's Waiting I remarked at how lithe and supple the Bananarama duo are as they danced to each song. Definitely a contrast to my hip wiggling hoping my back and knees wouldn't give in. Helen remarked that they must be close to sixty - a quick google search ensued - 57 in contrast to my 54. Yes, but they must have personal trainers Helen reasoned when she saw the look on my face. Inside I felt like 18 but my body reminded me the next day that I'm definitely 54. Some moves are best left to teenagers I guess.

Robert De Niro may not be waiting but Bonnie the Bichon is and it's time to catch up on some cuddles.